By Robbie Colson-Ramsey, Contributing Writer
At work, a friend shared her weekend plans: catching up on sleep after a long week, going to the park, and having a nice night out with friends and drinks. Then she asked about mine — church meetings, a local WMS meeting, a Zoom call, Sunday worship, an afternoon service at another church, and schoolwork. She stopped me mid-sentence and said, “Whoa… that’s another full-time job.” Immediately, I found myself singing: “Working nine to five, what a way to make a livin’…” Like many women, I channeled Dolly Parton and her anthem “9 to 5,” about the frustrations of working women who give so much, yet often feel unseen. But as I sang, I began to reflect.
I reflected on the lyrics that describe so many first spouses’ exhaustion and lack of recognition, but our reality is more complex. But when 5:00 p.m. comes, a first spouse’s day doesn’t end. It simply changes. The boss now has my last name, and the duties include making copies, recording weekly announcements, and setting up the fellowship for the next big event. What began as supporting someone else’s calling has now become a calling, sometimes a burden we carry as well. Many of us balance full-time careers and ministry roles—shifting from work meetings to church, deadlines to devotionals, and reviews to prayer. We rarely miss church events, where we are smiling, “face beat down,” and “dressed to the 9.”
The First Lady and the First Gentleman occupy a unique and often demanding place in the life of the church. Many faithfully serve alongside their spouses while also maintaining careers outside the congregation. This dual responsibility requires navigating workplace expectations during the week and ministry obligations in the evenings and on weekends. Their service continues after work: organizing events, leading volunteers, supporting members, and joining worship. These responsibilities require much time and energy, often leaving little room to rest. Churches should recognize the challenges faced by ministry spouses. Support healthy boundaries, offer genuine appreciation, and distribute leadership responsibilities to lighten the load.
Because for many of us, the truth is this: Our lives are defined by more than balancing two jobs—we are called to serve both our professions and our churches, each with devotion and purpose. We are living into a second calling—one that intertwines with every aspect of our daily lives, shaping our identity and our impact beyond typical work hours. For this reason, churches must recognize both the contributions and the challenges faced by ministry spouses. Encouraging healthy boundaries, offering genuine appreciation, and sharing the weight of leadership can make a profound difference. When congregations create cultures of grace and support, ministry remains a source of joy rather than exhaustion.
For many of us, the truth is this: We are not simply working a second shift; we are living a second calling.
