Robbie Colson Ramsey, Contributing Writer
Recently, we were at church taking pictures for a church periodical. The person taking the pictures asked if I liked 1stLady or Lady, and I paused and said, “Let me think about it. That one question triggered so many thoughts; as a child, I remember all of my First Ladies; some sat in the front with bejeweled suits, while others were a little low-key sat in the back of the church, but all were completely supportive of the pastor. I remember hearing the pastor say, First Lady, do you have anything to say? First Lady, please write a check for the offering. How this resonates in my spirit as I fulfill my role as the pastor’s wife. I must admit that the term First Lady or Lady is not supported by scripture but out of respect.
The role of the First Lady in the Black church is one of honor and responsibility. It’s shaped by historical and cultural influences, reflecting the unique drama of the Black church and its emphasis on leadership and family. Whether seated in the front row with grace or quietly supporting from the back, the First Lady is traditionally a cornerstone of the Black church community.
Based on the article in Urban Faith, “Because of the royal treatment of the black pastor, many of their wives benefit from the fact that they are married to the shepherd of the church. Over the years, in the Black church, she has come to be known as the First Lady. As with any title, certain privileges accompany the role of First Lady. Reserved seating is a no-brainer. In some instances, she sits in the pulpit with her husband; in other instances, she is front and center in the pews. Depending on your context, an oversized hat may be involved. In that setting, nobody, I mean nobody, wears a hat larger than the church’s First Lady. That’s disrespectful. Regardless of context, certain things are expected of a First Lady. She’s to be supportive, highly visible, elegant, a prayer warrior, and a great mother where children are involved. That list is not exhaustive, but it gives you an idea of how Black culture has carved out a clearly defined role for preacher’s wife.” (Richardson, 2013)
The mid-2000s shifted to “Lady” rather than “First Lady,” which offered an interesting evolution. It reflects a more logical perspective, perhaps acknowledging the individuality of each pastor’s wife while still honoring her role. By emphasizing “Lady,” there’s an attempt to center the person rather than the title, highlighting her unique contributions beyond traditional expectations.
As you reflect on your own experiences and role, it’s worth considering what resonates most with you. Titles like “First Lady” or “Lady” hold significance, but ultimately, your impact in your church and community is shaped by how you define and live out this role authentically. So, whether they call you First Lady or Lady, do the work that God has called you to do gracefully, allowing the work you do to one day resonate in the life of a church member. Ultimately, the name that counts is a child of God.
