Reclaim My Time.
By Robbie Colson-Ramsey, Contributing Writer
Amid the pandemic, there were so many things that I started to appreciate more and more, like having a dance party of two on our patio, a beautifully prepared meal by my husband, repotting plants, and playing in the dirt. The peace and sanctity I found within our home. As the pandemic grew longer, I clearly understood that you have to be there for yourself as much as I am for others. To take that time for yourself is not selfish but a time to recharge and connect with yourself, your passions and, your dreams.
We all remember when Auntie Maxine, during a Congressional hearing, shouts out, reclaiming my time. I am shouting to each of you, its time to reclaim your time; the only issue with reclaiming our time is that most of us have no idea how to reclaim our time to take care of our mind, body, and soul. It’s time for you to be selfish with your time. Remember, I am saying be selfish, not rude, when you let people know you need a little time for yourself. As the pastor’s spouse, it is imperative to articulate that you need downtime without offending members. You let your members know that you can not be present and ministry-minded for others if you have no idea how to create a time for self-care or clueless about self-care. When my mother told me I was burning the candle at both sides, she Robbie, you know what happens when your pour coffee and not paying attention, and it runs over into the saucer. Your overflow in the saucer is what you give to people, not your whole self, but the abundance/ overflow of your gifts.
I have compiled a list that may be helpful for you to reclaim your time and peace:
- Do not let church business be your pillow talk: I must admit we are still working on this! The weight of a pastor is hefty, so you find yourself wanting to be a listening ear to your companion; that is not the issue. Just don’t allow that conversation to happen in the bedroom. Your bedroom is a space of dreams and wonder.
- Learn how to enjoy your own company. Recently, my husband was traveling on business, leaving me home alone with the dog; if you know me, you know that I am an extreme extrovert. This particular weekend I decided to enjoy my own company. I did not search for anyone to call or go out. I sat in my own space, listening to my thoughts, redeveloping my dreams, focusing on me. To enjoy your own company, you must like yourself and the person that you want.
- Schedule downtime for yourself.- Black women by birth feel a need to bear the weight of everyone’s problem. Therefore we are worn down and stressed out. We have to understand that it’s ok, not to be everything for everyone. If possible, it is essential to prioritize your downtime and let people know that you are disconnecting for a weekend to reconnect with yourself.
These three tips are not the answer to everyone, but I hope it is a way to start you think about your well-being and reclaim your time.
