Men’s Ministry and Fatherhood

Men’s Ministry and Fatherhood

Rev. Dr. Silvester S. Beaman, 1stEpiscopal District

Father’s Day 2019 is an opportunity for African Methodists around the Connection to consider how important Men’s Ministry is in the life of our Church. In this hashtag social consciousness era, we certainly need a #Black Fathers Matter. At Bethel AME Church in Wilmington, Delaware, the Men’s Ministry—functioning through the Sons of Allen—is vibrant and viable. Our position is if we save a man, we save a family. If we save a family, we strengthen the church. If we strengthen the church, we reclaim our communities. If we reclaim our communities, the city is made better. If the city is made better, the state is impacted. If the state is impacted, the nation will become more compassionate. 

In the life of our Zion, it is imperative that Men’s Ministry be a priority. This must be as intentional as the founding of the WMS was in the early days of African Methodism. There is no need to create something new; rather, we must gently breathe life into what already exists. It is no secret that the majority of our churches are populated with females, while too many of their husbands, sons, nephews, and fathers remain absent or on the periphery of the life and ministry of the church. In most cases, this is acceptable as long as the budget and financing of the church are accomplished. However, the overall deleterious effect of this phenomenon is causing an exponential erosion in the church and greater society. Therefore, “business as usual” is now unacceptable. We must sound the alarm to reclaim our men.

At Bethel AME Church, this is the impetus for our strong functioning, relevant, and effective Sons of Allen. They have a clearly defined mission statement that is consistent with the vision of the church and a budget for their work. They regularly report their efforts at Official Board Presiding Elder’s meetings. 

As a result of the high profile and ministry of Bethel’s Sons of Allen, male attendance is up at all worship services. Men are a complimentary mix of college-educated professionals, laborers, craftsmen, and educators.

We are intentional about our Sons of Allen promoting fatherhood. In fact, fatherhood is the backbone of our ministry. We see every man of the church as a father and we are deliberate in providing them with the tools for their role. There are two ministries of the Sons of Allen that have direct fatherhood and mentoring component, Thursday Club and the Annual Father-Daughter Dinner Dance

The Thursday Club is a weekly male-mentoring and bonding session for boys ages seven-18 with adult males. Dinner is provided for all attendees and the session always has a spiritual or Biblical component with a focus on current social issues. One session a month is designated for Bible study. The leaders consistently inquire about the students’ grades as maintaining good grades is a prerequisite for membership in the Club. We provide field trips to professional sporting events, movie theaters, museums, and other academic and cultural experiences that are free or offered at substantial discounts to parents.  Guest speakers are invited who share their stories with the boys so that they know you don’t have to be an athlete, entertainer, or gang-banger to be prosperous and successful.

More than 700 fathers and daughters have attended the Annual Father-Daughter Dinner Dance. It began in the basement of Bethel Church and has become a major social event in the tri-state areas of Delaware, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey. The mission of the event is to further cultivate the bond between fathers and their daughters. The majority of men wear black tie attire and all the girls wear formal apparel. The ages of our daughters range from toddlers to adult women. The only prerequisite is that you must be escorted by your father or a father-figure. It’s not unusual to have multiple generations of fathers and daughters attend. 

The dance features world-class entertainment, a gourmet meal, professional photography, and DJ. Last year, via scholarships, a component was added to provide opportunities for formerly-incarcerated fathers to reconnect with their daughters.

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