Are You Making an Impact or Just Passing By?
By Robbie Colson-Ramsey, Contributing Writer
As the spouse of the pastor, have you ever missed a Sunday at church and your spouse rushed home to tell you that everyone was asking about you but you didn’t believe them? That is because you are making a positive impact that the church can feel. It may be your warm smile, the sweet comments to the members, or simplynothing at all.
Church members are watching to see if you are impacting the church with committed ideas or just passing throughbecause your spouse is the pastor. They are waiting to cast you into the sea of forgetfulness so it is important to make a mark that will change and transform your church and the church community.
In order to make an impact, you must first understand you are the sidekick.When members try to pull you into a situation,simplytell them to speak with the pastor. Remember, you are not the pastor and have no authority at the church. You should have very littleopinion about decisions that are madeat the church. Your spouse has 99 problemsand youshould not be one of them.
Second, asthe sidekick, you are the hype-person.You have to push all the ideas and programs your mate is hoping to get done at the church. You are the brand ambassador. Do not contaminate the church with your negative thoughts or unwilling support. Your presence as the first spouse adds value.
Third, allow members to understand your story. Sharing is caring. Let the members in on a little bit of your life like where you grew up, the church you attended, and if your parents are still living. Sharing allows the members to feel like they have connected with you. Now what you don’t want to do is unload a lot of unnecessary information that may get taken the wrong way and later used against you.
Fourth, put elbow power on a project. As much asyou don’t want to leave your house or your bed on the coldest Saturday of the year, do it for the project. How can your spouse convince othersto do so if they can’t get the one they share their heartwith to do it? When you go to the project, don’t just sit in the pastor’s office like a prima donna. The members are looking and will talk.
I remember when we were just assignedto a new church. We had to get the church cleaned up; and when I arrived, everyone was working. I quickly got my supplies and went to work. That went a long way with my members.
In 2019, I am not telling you to attend everything but make a sincereeffort to make an impact. Members remember first spouses that make impactsbut no one remembers a person that justpasses through because their spouse is the pastor.
Mrs. Robbie Colson-Ramsey is the first lady of St. John AME Church in Fairburn, where the Rev. Charles Ramsey, Jr. is the pastor. She is a former Connectional YPD 1st Vice President. She is a special educational teacher with Douglas County Public Schools.
