The Imposter Within
Rev. Dr. Alfonso Wyatt, Columnist
I was at an event to offer words about a colleague in the youth development field retiring. Right before I was to speak, a woman came over to me and said she remembered me from her teen years. She said that one of her friends I had known since the 80s recently died. I was crestfallen. As soon as I got home, I called the best friend of the deceased, Sonice (not her real name), and got the sad details. We laughed, reminisced, and cried for our departed sister, friend—and mentee. Sonice, by all accounts, is successful, so it was surprising when out of nowhere during our conversation, she said, “Uncle Fonzo (that is what I told all young people to this day to call me) when you first met us, we were all messed up. Given what I have been through growing up, I have to admit that sometimes I feel like an imposter.”
Have you ever felt like you were an imposter and did not deserve your success? Since it is hard to have imposter conversations with people, let us delve into this issue. I believe that the imposter resides beside the real you—waiting for a time to discourage you (I know this from my past battles with the imposter) by bringing to mind your insecurities. The imposter whispers your secret fears to you, accurately citing past painful negative situations to buttress the point you are a fraud. The odd thing is that deep down, you know what is presented is true, making it hard to refute the argument. No one can totally divorce his or herself from the past. Likewise, knowing what parts of the past will stay with you is hard. I know Sonice had a hard life, as did many of her peers growing up. It is why Uncle Fonzo had to step up and offer love and support to vulnerable children.
Is it time to get rid of The Imposter Within? Are you tired of making fake advances that end in real retreats? The Imposter Within hates light, so shine the light of truth on your situation—the light that acknowledges past missteps, mess-ups, or miscues. Acknowledge what you see, own what you feel—and move on from it. This act of ownership removes the imposter’s greatest weapon against you, and that is, your “damaging” secret will be exposed. It is time for you to turn the tables on the imposter within by exposing your secrets—not so much to others but to yourself because you can never change what you will not name.
Can this be your declaration to the imposter within: while you know so much about me, I also have learned a few things about you. You always bring negative, regurgitated pieces of my past hurts, shortcomings, and brokenness to mind. You never give real advice or encouragement. But, imposter, I have outgrown your lies and threats. Your innuendos are no longer threatening to me. I had to go deep inside and find the strength I needed to overcome the past. It is with the same strength you deceptively convinced me was my weakness; so imposter, it is so nice to finally say you no longer have power over me.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
