Bearing the Cross
Rev. Renita Green, Columnist
Thomas Shepherd asked the question in the great church hymn, “Must Jesus bear the cross alone while all the world goes free? No there’s a cross for everyone, and there’s a cross for me.” These words play over and over and over in my spirit. The image of Simon of Cyrene being pulled out of the crowd to carry Jesus’ crossbar uphill is imprinted on my heart.
Ministry, while meaningful in many ways, is also somewhat like bearing the cross—carrying the weight of others. Simon ministered to Jesus by carrying the cross. Jesus said we have to pick up our own cross and follow. Paul said that we have to bear the burdens of each other to fulfill the law of Christ.
For the past four years, my church has faithfully ministered to our unsheltered neighbors. There was a time when the suffering brought me to tears. Fast forward to this year, ministering did not feel like a labor of love, it just felt like labor. It isn’t that I care less, I just feel less. I feel less empathy and more dread. Ministering without feeling has been disturbing. Spiritually speaking, what does it mean to dread serving?
Turns out, this isn’t a spiritual condition. I am experiencing a common occurrence for those in helping professions or ministry—empathy fatigue. Empathy fatigue is emotional depletion. It is losing the ability to feel much of anything.
Clergy are among those most susceptible to empathy fatigue. We feel so deeply and hold people so closely that it wears out our emotional elasticity. This is not a spiritual failing, it is a natural response kicking in to protect us from complete burnout. We need regular breaks from the emotional input we consistently absorb. We rarely take breaks. We just keep going without nurturing our spirits, processing our lives, or even reassessing our calling.
Many faith traditions insist that clergy take regular sabbaticals. Some grant up to a year with full or partial pay and the ability to return with the same standing as when they left. For most of us, a lengthy sabbatical is not realistic. Work, family, finances, pride, and the fear of potential missed opportunities prevent us from meaningfully withdrawing from the emotional labor for any amount of time. Since this is just our reality, we must do what we can in the life place we are in with the resources we have available.
Seek a therapist, an outside spiritual advisor, or life coach to explore the future as well as process the past. I have found that a few visits annually are sufficient with the option of more if needed.
Take several small, true sabbaticals—completely off duty from anything that requires taking in the emotions of others, even family. I am taking two weekends per month for six months with no serving, churching, meetings, or community events. I will reevaluate in six months. Some may need to step out of the pulpit for a season. Some may only need one full day each week. Do what you need to do to be healthy. God’s people are not served by our empty present-ness.
Do something regularly that brings you joy. The joy within us exudes from our spirit when we are enjoying our lives! As for me, I have signed up for various free e-learning workshops with a small fee for certifications. I am having a ball!
Finally, bring cross-bearing into perspective. The cross is symbolic of suffering and it is also symbolic of salvation and the promise of new life. Indeed, there is a cross for everyone! In this season, my cross is my well-being. I will not leave this cross for Jesus to bear alone, I will participate in my health and life. Will you?
