Where Is The Love?

By Robbie Colson-Ramsey, Contributing Writer

Often, I meet young women who say, “Girl, how are you married to the preacher?” I have always proclaimed that our story is very different from most. Chuck (the love of my life) was preaching when we met at Morris Brown. He was the campus preacher and he was always skipping the most popular party to put together different spiritual events on campus. While I had always loved the Lord and never miss a Sunday at church, I never imagined that I would be tempted by the alluring love of the preacher.

The struggle arises when a worldly spouse accepts their calling to preach or when your spouse, who has never been serious about his calling, wants to be a pastor overnight. Where does this leave the wife? In a state of confusion. You go to bed living the party lifestyle and the next morning, he is demanding a dry house and Bible stories before bed. When you commit to a person who says God is pulling at his heart to proclaim the Word, you must be ready to have a serious conversation with yourself. Have you yourself made a strong commitment? Do you have a relationship with the Lord? Are you dedicated to your spouse, who will now be a Bible-carrying, scripture-spitting soldier for the Lord? Are you ready to be a smiling patient face that represents the presence of the Lord?

I am not saying that you have to fall off the face of the earth but your life will slowly begin to change. I would suggest no longer going out to the local club and “dropping it like it’s hot.” You may think you can’t have a glass of wine at your favorite restaurant (you can but the whole church will know before you finish it). You really have to think about the pictures you post on social media (because the whole church is on social media). Your first thought must always be about how your actions will affect the church and your spouse.

I know what you are probably saying, “The Lord called them, not me!” Guess what? This is the family business! So, if you are a little afraid, it’s okay. You will mess up, say the wrong thing, or forget he told you something just for you and you will share it. However, over time, your skills will get better.

Church people love to have a great family to represent their church. The pondering question is, “Are you ready to represent them?” The job is not easy and it’s sometimes not fair. Your feelings might get hurt; but at the end of the day, you do it. You do it not because you want to but for the love of your mate and because you are ready to represent them and the Lord.

Robbie Colson-Ramsey is a graduate of Morris Brown College and a former Connectional YPD officer. She is the first lady of St. John AME Church in Fairburn, Georgia, which is pastored by her husband, the Rev. Charles Ramsey.